three thoughts.

dark. blurred. messy.

i have been quite depressed this past few days. i am quite depressed because i am not progressing as much as i want to. i mean, i have been at home for months now. i have no work. i only help my mother do household chores and make messages to send via e-mail. other than that, i only stare at my laptop, plurk and tweet, watch the television, watch videos on youtube, vimeo, and veoh, record my singing, take pictures outside, do some blog posts like this, and eat a lot. i still go out with my friends, but i still ask permission to my parents and ask for money. fortunately, i always get permitted to go out. that happens like once or twice a month.

yes. i have been bumming for a long time now that i feel like i have not been improving myself in terms of career. my life looks like.. the picture above. it is dark, blurred, and messy. i feel like i am stuck in a dark cave, and i do not know where to go. my eyes are blurred, and i am losing track of the path i should walk on. moreover, i think my mind is a mess. i have been thinking of too many things. i have been overthinking,  and i have been paranoid, too. i get more depressed as days and months pass by too fast.

however, i realized that i should stop. i should stop the paranoia and the overthinking. i should stop worrying about things that are beyond my control. i guess i should do the things that i can do at the moment. i must now do things that would benefit me in the near future. in addition, i should just enjoy life as it comes. just make it worth living. making myself sad would just make me hate the world more. thus, i should just be happy, and i must not think of depressing things. i should look at the brighter side. i could still have a chance to work. the time's not now, though. maybe, i should visit wonderful places to make myself happy while i am still free. just to make myself experience the outside world more often because i have been stuck at home for a long time now. i just hope my parents would let me go out more often. hihi. :)

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)