in the wee hours of the morning..

...i always get nostalgic. i always remember all of the things i have done in the past. as i remember them, i also think of what should have happened. let's say, what i could have said in an argument, or what i could have done to solve the problem. i know, it has all been done, but i always think of them. i guess i dwell in the past too much.

i also remember the good things i have done. my achievements in life. those things. those things that i am not able to do now. i remember those things to remind myself that i was able to do that, and i could do more. to remind myself that i could do that again. to inspire myself. i guess that's not enough to get me inspired.

in the wee hours of the morning, i also daydream. i dream of joining the voice, impressing the judges, and making fans. i dream of being a photographer capturing photos that are eesome to me and to others.i dream of traveling and being able to talk to other people. i sometimes dream of  things i should have achieved, like graduating with latin honors.

sometimes, i just imagine that i have pet pokemons and digimons, or i just imagine the setting of Paulo Coelho's "By The River Piedra, I Sat Down and Wept" and Bob Ong's "Alamat ng Gubat" and "Macarthur." I picture the setting of those books in my head and imagine that i am there.

in the wee hours of the morning, my mind gets active that i can't sleep. it gets nostalgic, and it daydreams and imagines things that make me happy, sad, and sometimes, crazy. maybe, that's why my mind goes active in the wee hours so that i could think of all the stress and release them before i go to sleep. tiring my mind by thinking too much that i could sleep quickly.

but, i think, it just reminds me to remember what i've done in the past and learn from it and remember to think of happy thoughts to avoid negativity. :)

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)

isang tanka. :)

bumabagyo,

ngunit ako'y lumalangoy.

lamig ng tubig

ay aking niyayakap

hanggang ako'y manginig.

"i want to ride the carousel.."

...she said. she was already holding and pulling me. she continuously pointed at the carousel from the restaurant we were having lunch at. “penguin,” a nickname she had given me because she laughs when i act like a penguin, “let’s go ride.”

 she wasn’t able to finish her lunch. when my tita, her mother, bought a ticket for her, she excitedly went outside to go to the carousel. her mother asked me to go with her on the ride as a guardian. it was cloudy that day. it was also kind of windy. so, while the carousel was turning, we both felt the cold wind. she was all smiles while on the carousel. she was enjoying every bit of it. i, on the other hand, felt nostalgic. it was my first time to ride the carousel in my twenties. i was remembering the days when i was happy riding a carousel. as i was looking at her, i was thinking if i also had the same reactions on her face when i was riding the carousel. i think, i was also smiling the whole time the carousel was turning around.

 when the carousel was already done turning around, she gave me a big grin. she was obviously happy. i replied back with a big grin, too, and helped her go down the horse. before we start walking back to the restaurant, she started pointing at the Ferris wheel. “penguin, let’s go ride!” i just smiled at her. :)

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)