passive.

absent-minded.

not that active.

ganyan ako minsan. nakatunganga lang. malayo minsan ang tingin. or maraming naiisip. kaya minsan. hindi ko na namamalayan, may mga lumagpas na pala sakin sa pila, or minsan mapagbigay lang ako.

minsan, pinagbibigyan ko nalang. kung mali, edi mali. ano pang magagawa ko. mali na eh. pag nagawa na, hindi ko naman na maibabalik.

minsan. wala lang akong pakialam. bahala sila kung anong desisyon. oo nalang ako. kahit di ko talaga naintindihan.

yun ang minsang mali sakin. hindi ako masyadong ma-react. okay nako basta may nagawa. haaay.

minsan sa pagiging passive ko, nagiging indecisive din ako. um-oo ako, ayaw ko pala nun. nagmumukha pa tuloy akong mali minsan.

kailangan kong maging active na. di lang active sa pangangatawan, pati sa pag-iisip din siguro. haay.

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)

you can't stop the beat.

watched the premiere episode of glee.

t'was actually good. it showed there how the glee club never gave up even though there where protests against the arts, na pinangungunahan ni Sue. blah blah blah. basta ang point ng episode eh hindi sila mapipigilan ng kahit ano, hangga't di sila nawawasak.

that day, was actually something for me. that day. i was rejected by 2 companies that i was expecting to accept me as their employee. sadly, they rejected, on the same day. it was depressing for me to know that. on that day. i. am. crushed. i was like. "hindi na ata ako magkakaroon ng trabaho kung ganyan.." or "ano ba ang nagawa kong mali na ayaw nila?" HAA. it's depressing. frustrating. i can't even be happy because i really want to work. but it's not coming.

but. after watching glee. i thought. im not gonna stop. i can still find other companies that would hire me. i shall never get tired of finding a suitable job. i shall. wait too. if something shall come. or if it will come. woooh. i need to be happy. i must me happy. wooh. Lord. sana po may dumating na. please. haay.

kahit siguro chimini-aa nalang ako. basta may sweldo. haa. hay.

Lord sana matanggap nako.

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)

fiction becomes reality.

all of us. all of us are writers. writers of our own fictions. fictions that we imagine and create. imagine and create inside our minds. in our minds, where we build our own world. a world full of ideas and dreams that will come true. or not.

i have made a lot of fictions. different stories that i want to happen. i have imagined myself being in love, being happy. i always daydream of travelling to a lot of places, places that has never been touched by men. some undiscovered places, some place far from home. i think of winning. of achieving awards. of making myself proud that i was able to that, making my family and friends proud of me. i think of doing what i want. to sing, dance, read my favorite books, take beautiful pictures. i want to skydive. to swim without a life vest on. to ride a hot air balloon. to surf. to skinny dip. to live near the beach. to have a simple home. to be alone. to earn money, and save them. to buy the things that i want. to enjoy. i imagine myself to have my own anime characters, to have pokemons as my pets. i imagine that i will be meeting someone someday. someone that i will accept me. someone who shall see at my best, even when im at my worst.

someone. somewhere. something. i have written a lot of fictions. but they are all imaginations. i sometimes think that they have already happened. that i have already experienced them, ironic. i pretend to know the feeling, but i don't. fake memories. ideal. unreal. i sometimes think that it's impossible. impossible to make these fictions real. impossible for i don't see any hint they may happen. i think. i imagine. it's just all in the mind. but never became real.

i always think, of when will my fictions become reality. how long will i wait? how long shall i strive? how long. will i imagine? how. will i make it real?

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)

haha.

as much as i really want to write. i can't find any inspiration to do so.

even when i already have the ideas to write, i still get blocked by something i don't know. an evil force? an idle force? i dunno. i don't really know. hm.

i always get lazy. aw.

maybe next, ill just make an update, then maybe try to squeeze some unfinished drafts. hoho.

i am really not in the mood to blog. but yeah, im blogging now. how ironic. :))

oh well. hope all of you are doing fine. :)

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)

how plants effect the world.

a while ago, i went to a company i applied last last week, i think. i applied for the position of an article writer in that company. it was in makati, and the exam sched was at 9am in the morning. i was with a friend, Maia. i actually slept early to wake up early, but was really sleepy. i was not even expecting anything after that exam, if ever i pass, or fail, or whatsoever.

so, i got to makati free with my father's stored value MRT card.

i was really amazed because the office was in a condo, where people live, or settle. lol. but nevertheless, there's an office there. in 31st floor. the second to the highest floor. i really got dizzy and deaf after the elevator ride.

we arrived their 1 hour before the sched of our exam, so we kind of waited a little more. the office was already great. there was a kitchen, everybody could make their own coffee too while working, and even listen to music. the office atmosphere was good too.

before the employees fill the office, we already had our exams. there were three: a personality exam, typing speed test, and article writing. i was kinda good on the two former tests (or not. hahaha.). but the article writing part was. really. not tough. but not easy too. but i tell you, what i wrote was really not that deep. it's kinda shallow, for me. it's really a simple topic.

there were 4 topics to choose from. one about overpopulation, then another about religion, and the other is about proactive measures to avoid pollution. what i chose, was, i think, the easiest of the four topics.

it was "how plants effect the world." yes. 'effect'. i actually wanted to ask the facilitator if this was really 'effect' or 'affect'. i didn't ask her, so i just wrote the article.

the article just revolved on how we use plants. like us experiments in school, decoration at home. but, it has also helped us in greater ways, even with just a small single plant. it had help us breathe, since it absorbs carbon dioxide and releases oxygen that we breathe. they actually lessen pollution and global warming. plants produce cold air and shades from the sun we enjoy. it also prevents soil erosion. and also, in these developing times, plants have also been are source of medicine, food, shelter, clothes and more. it's like the more we develop, the more we discover how plants would help us.

but. there's one thing that i forgot to say in that article. plants had been giving us humans what we need, what we use. and what we consume. but. after taking and receiving those effects, some people never return the favor of helping plants grow, and developing a greener environment for a better living community. if we don't take care of the plants, they shall wither and die, and will lose the oxygen, soils shall not be kept and will result to landslides and flashfloods. and we will lose our homes, there'll be famine, and the like. so, before it's too late, let us take care of the plants around us. let us not waste our time. and of course, remember these plants' effects to the world.

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)

bumming.

well yeah. just thought of. making a nonsense post. (even when all posts here are nonsense) HAHAHA. yeah.

so. how nonsense is this?

nothing. it's just nothing. :))

cause i don't really know what to write. and i don't think that i have creative juices now to squeeze, and i don't have the inspiration to write things. HA.

still have a lot of drafts to write. and i hope i'd be able to cope up with writing in english. hihihi.

and. uh. gusto ko rin makapag-salita ng Filipino sa aking mga entri. hahahaha. lol.

okay. enough. tama na. masyado na atang nonsense. hahaha.

so yeah. yun lang. hihihi.

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)

in english..

until next time, avid reader. :)

childhood myth. :)

*this has been a long due draft. i made this during some months of 2009 or 2010. and i just decided to complete and publish this post. haha.*

anyway. this post was inspired by my literature prof when i was in third year. it was the first exercise or assignment, i think, that she made us do. it was about our childhood myth. since our literature class then was all about myths and whatnot, she told us to make our own, based on the experiences we had during childhood.

i actually got excited, at first, since i always think of my childhood. the weird childhood of mine, i remembered all those things that i did when i was a kid. and i was really insane, which didn't change until now. anyway. so i did write my childhood myth.

i'll just tell the highlights of that thing. haha! because i really can't remember the whole thing that i wrote, just the details, i think. but the bottomline of the story was i thought that i was an alien. these were my reasons: 1. i don't like the normal kids. i don't speak tagalog, i don't speak english. go figure how i talked. 2. i have the most unique toys. my car's a cellphone, my doll is a paperbag holder, and animal figures are pieces of lego which do not even look like an animal. i sometimes put my toys in a container, and bring them everywhere i go. i have special connections with them because i consider them as 'friends'. friends, meaning, i talk to them. weird huh?

more strange, that i still do now, i talk, sing and laugh to myself. i talk to the clouds, trees and anything that i could see. i could survive a day just wandering in just one place, staring, eating and taking pictures of them. though i didn't have a camera back then. so yeah.

when i was a kid, i considered myself as a loner since i am an alien. everybody thinks that i weird. yeah, i didn't even know by that time that i am gay, but i was already acting one. ironic.

and look at me now. i am now gay. though, i still talk to myself, still loves toy-like things, and still collecting small pieces of things that reminds me of what i was when i was a kid.

one thing that i realized when i was writing my childhood myth: it's actually a good thing remembering those childhood memories that you did. of course, you'd miss those times. and of course, it's your choice to relive those memories. just to feel that you were that kid, and that childhood myth helped you be who you are, and the basis of what you are, now.

anywaaaay. it's already way passed my bedtime, i should sleep now. i'll be conquering the world. again. later. haha.

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)

OKAY.

OKAY. JUST TRIED THE NEW BLOGGER LOOK.

IT LOOKS SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

okay. yun lang. HAHA.

:))

drafts, drafts.

so. i have been surfing the net every day. been searching for jobs every day. been stuck to facebook, twitter and plurk. and tumblr at times, and to youtube often times.

i have also been seeing how to make articles and whatso. haha. i don't even know if i'm making one now. LOL.

i read that when i have an idea, i should list it down so i could not forget it.

hence, a lot of drafts. HAHA.

i have been filling this blog with empty, stupid drafts. and when they are already published, well, they still look like drafts. or not. lol.

anywaaaaaaaaaaaay. i'd made so many drafts. hope i'd be able to finish them all, before the year ends. (OHA. feeling writer lang naman ako!) HAHAHAHA.

so yeah. i sometimes post random thoughts that i could also publish quickly. so. yeah. might do some now.

kkkkkkkk. nagugutom ako ng bonggang-bongga. fooood. come here please!

hanggang sa muli, masugid na mambabasa. :)